Thursday, May 3, 2012
What would you say?
Ok, it's happened. I knew it would eventually. I knew I would be sad. I knew I would cry. I didn't know I would feel physical heart wrenching pain the moment it was said. I was putting on Sadie's pajamas tonight when she said in her sweet little voice "I don't know what it's like to walk without a walker. Will I ever know what it's like? When will I be able to walk." I didn't have a moment to answer before my breath was seized by an unknown force. Her next series of comments broke me down. "What if I can never ever walk? When I'm a mommy like you will I be able to walk?" I didn't know what to say for a few minutes although I have practiced in my head over and over should this day come. I think Sadie was confused by the tears steaming down my face coupled with the forced smile. I couldn't give the "after school special" answer. I just couldn't. I told her that if we keep working really hard that maybe someday she will walk. We talked about her surgery and how that will help her. I told her that if she has to walk in a walker forever she will still be loved and still be very smart and very cute. Am I a terrible person? Should I have smiled and said"of corse you are going to walk!"? What would you say? Be honest.....
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This gave me goosebumps. I think you gave her the perfect answer...you told her the truth. No one knows for sure what the future will hold, but you told her the most important thing - she is and will always be loved. She is a very lucky girl to have a mom like you. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteNicki, it was perfect. Our littles are such brave, precious creatures. I love that you focused on how much she's loved, and that it didn't really matter either way. At the end of the day, your love and acceptance is greater than whether or not her little legs need a walker. (((hugs))) mama.
ReplyDeleteNicki, I think you handled this just fine. No matter what happens in the future (and none of us knows what the future holds for any of us, no matter our situation), the most important thing for all children to know is that they are loved unconditionally. No matter what they do or don't do, how they perform or don't perform, make good decisions or bad decisions, they will always be loved. You cannot promise Sadie that she will walk, though you will do everything in your power to make that happen. But you can promise to always love her. And that's a promise you'll never break.
ReplyDeleteWhat you said was perfect. She's blessed to have a mom like you.
ReplyDeleteI would have said the same thing. Just like you have gotten through all the other milestones with hope and love, this is no different. I am a realist and an optimist (which makes for an interesting combination), but promising her something that is out of your hands and in His, could set yourself up for disappointment and resentment if, in fact, it didn't happen. Yet, giving her that determination spirit is what will make it possible (which she is already heading in that direction). I would add that she should focus on the things she has accomplished in her short little life already to add that boost of confidence because she has already beat the odds and stolen so many hearts!
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